As we move through the various developmental phases and subphases of early childhood. We become disconnected from our experience and arrested in our development. Whatever environmental factors were problematic in these stages contribute to the psychodynamic issues related to the essential aspects that predominate in each stage, such as True Strength or Merging Gold. So, the psychodynamic issues that we have in relation to any aspect of Being are determined by what we experienced during the associated developmental period. However, when it comes to the essential quality of Living Daylight, which gives the soul basic trust, the situation is different. The specific issue associated with this quality has more to do with the overall container for the whole of our childhood development, rather than with one particular period of development. Our connection with Living Daylight is affected by the overall ground or background for the entire process of maturation and development.
The actual experience of Living Daylight can help us understand this ground and the issues associated with it. When you become aware of the quality of Living Daylight that gives rise to the sense of basic trust, the feeling is that everything is okay in a deep, intrinsic way – not that there aren't difficulties or pain, but that things are workable. You have the sense of being taken care of and of being held, as we have said, and if this experience deepens, you will feel that you are enveloped and comforted by a soft, loving, gentle presence. It feels as though the environment around you is soft, supportive, protective, and understanding. You might experience it literally as the sense of being held by a wonderful light love. You might also have the sense that all parts of you are held together so that they can grow and develop to become all that they can.
Basic Trust and Holding
From the direct experience of Living Daylight, we can see that the situation in childhood that contributes to the sense of basic trust is what is referred to in the psychological literature as the "holding environment." The person most responsible for this concept of holding is D.W. Winnicott, an important figure in the British object relations school. What he calls the holding environment is the environment during the first year or so of life, the period of infancy before the child begins to develop a separate sense of self. Initially, the environment is the womb; later on, it is the arms that held you, mother's lap, perhaps father and other people, the environment of your crib, your bedroom, your house – the whole situation. So "holding environment" here means the totality of the surroundings and the general feel of it through the formative years. Mother is central to this environment but it isn't limited to her.
The child can experience the environment as more or less holding. If the environment is a good holding environment, it makes you feel taken care of, protected, understood, loved, and held in such a way that your consciousness – which at the beginning is unformed, fluid, and changeable – can grow spontaneously and naturally on its own. The soul in this respect is like a seedling. A seedling needs a particular holding environment in order to develop into a tree: the right soil, enough water, the right nutrients, the right amounts of light and shade. If it doesn't have the proper holding environment, it won't grow steadily and healthily, and it might not grow at all.
A good holding environment, then, is the environment that is needed for the human soul to grow and develop into what she can become. It needs to provide a sense of safety and security, the sense that you are, and can count on, being taken care of. Your soul needs an environment that is dependable, consistent, attuned to your needs, and that provides for you in a way that is empathic to those needs. This is the ideal environment for human growth. If the environment has a good sense of holding, you will experience basic trust. When there is no extreme disruption and no intense unresolved frustrations or problems, insecurity is not generated and you rest in a fundamental sense of well-being. Your world feels secure, safe, continuous, and dependable in a loving way, so you develop with a fundamental trust and confidence in reality. You feel supported in your sense of connection with the universe, and your inherent trust in it is strengthened by a good holding environment. Your trust in reality has not been challenged, so it doesn't even come into consciousness; the holding environment is integrated into your sense of the world.
Basic trust is inherent in the sense that if everything is going well with respect to the holding of the environment, the child doesn't even think of trust or confidence. Quoting Winnicott,
It is axiomatic in these matters of maternal care of the holding variety that when things go well the infant has no means of knowing what is being properly provided and what is being prevented. On the other hand it is when things do not go well that the infant becomes aware, not of the failure of maternal care, but of the results, whatever they may be, of that failure; that is to say, the infant becomes aware of reacting to some impingement. (Winnicott, 1965, p. 52)
It is only when there is some disruption in the holding that the lack of trust or confidence begins to be experienced. In other words, before things feel like they are going wrong, the child doesn't register that things are going okay. If there is some disruption and then it ends, the child forgets about it and goes back to taking the holding environment for granted. However, if some lack of holding remains constant, or consistently intermittent, the child will not take the holding for granted, will become apprehensive, and will begin to lose the sense of basic trust in reality.
Holding
Physical holding is the most obvious instance of the holding environment. Infants like being held by the mother or father, but they need to be held in the right way. Anyone can carry a baby, but not everyone can hold a baby in such a way that the child senses that it is loved, communicated with, understood, merged with, and secure.
When a baby is held in a way that is “holding,” it feels supported in a way similar to how it was held inside the womb, and there is less discontinuity in the holding from its life inside mother’s body to outside of it. This sense of holding will not disrupt the child’s sense of basic trust, and the effect will be that Living Daylight—the loving and supportive dimension of Being—remains an intrinsic part of its sense of reality. The holding becomes integrated into the depths of its consciousness, and the result is a sense of basic trust in reality. The child’s sense of basic trust will begin in relationship to mother and the holding environment and will extend to the world and the whole universe. This will allow the child to grow and develop into its full potential.
But the holding environment is not simply physical; the whole emotional climate in the family is a part of the holding environment. If there is tension between parents, for example, the child will feel it and the sense of holding will be somewhat disrupted. The presence or absence of other siblings and their interrelationships also affect the holding. Whether it is chaotic or dreary, too noisy or lacking in stimulation for the child, all affect the amount of holding he or she experiences. What the family as a whole is going through will also affect it. If the family is enduring a difficult financial period and there is a sense of fear and insecurity in the parents, this will not only affect the parents’ relationship to the child directly, but it will also create an anxious environment full of expectations of difficulty or danger. If the child grows up during wartime, the holding will also be compromised. Physical traumas, such as the child getting sick, or one or both parents falling ill, will be experienced as disruptions in the sense of being held and therefore also in the sense of basic trust. The effect of whatever disruptions occur will be cushioned and mitigated to the degree that the environment is generally holding.
The environment holds the various manifestations of the soul, and the soul feels supported by the environment and, therefore, intrinsically connected to the universe. The soul can then experience its Beingness in a continuous way, without disruptions from the environment, and that sense of Beingness can develop and mature. The child feels an inherent part of the universe as a unique expression of it.
The Loss of Holding
When children do not have the support to be themselves, they react by trying to establish or reestablish the holding environment. If the impingements continue, they will continue reacting in an attempt to cope with the situation, trying to make things work out in order to feel held. Reactivity in response to the impingements or disruptions in the environment are the child’s attempt to bring about what he or she needs in order to survive and develop. If the holding isn’t there or isn’t dependable, children will try to manipulate themselves, their parents, and/or the environment to bring it about. They might develop all kinds of ways to please the parents: hiding their own needs, entertaining their parents or doing things for them. On the other hand, they can also try to distract their parents from their problems, throw tantrums to get attention, or become manipulative—even deceitful—to get the holding in return.
By having to react to the loss of holding, the child is no longer simply being, and the spontaneous and natural unfoldment of the soul has been disrupted. If this reactivity becomes predominant, the child’s development will be based on that reactivity rather than on the continuity of Beingness. When development is based on reactivity to what is perceived as an unsafe environment, children will develop in disconnection from Being and, therefore, ego will be what becomes most developed.
The less holding there is in the environment, the more the child’s development will be based on this reactivity, which is essentially an attempt to deal with an undependable environment. The child will develop mechanisms for dealing with an environment they feel is inherently trustworthy, and these mechanisms form the basis of the developing sense of self, or ego. The development of the child’s consciousness is then founded on distrust, and so distrust is part of the basis of ego development. The child’s consciousness—his or her soul—internalizes the environment it is growing up in and then projects that environment back onto the world.
Ego Development and Basic Distrust
To the extent that the environment provides adequate holding, the child can develop in the context of a continuity of being that allows and supports the individuation of the soul—one’s unique embodiment of Being. Because there are degrees of holding and of impingement, and because no holding environment is without failures, we typically develop a real (essential) and false (egoic) self in varying proportions. Basic trust is usually not totally missing, but it is seldom complete. To have absolute basic trust is to be completely realized.
The more we are identified with the false self, the personality, the more we are identified with the absence of basic trust. In order to develop basic trust, and consequently more contact and identification with Being, we need to experience the lack of holding imprinted on our souls. As with any other aspect or dimension of Being, we must first work through the resistance to experiencing the absence or “hole” of it, and then when we fully experience this hole, the missing quality will arise.
The effect of the hole of Living Daylight in early childhood is experienced in adulthood in many ways. Emotionally, it will be felt not only. as the need for holding, but also the sense that no one and nothing is holding you. We might defend against the feeling of the need itself by affecting a lack of trust that anyone will be there for you. The need for holding might be experienced as the desire to be taken care of, to be actually physically held, the need for someone to see you and support you. This can lead to the physical sense that there is a kind of emptiness in the belly that makes you feel as if you are suspended in a cold, inhospitable space. This emptiness carries with it the sense that you want to be held, but nobody and nothing is holding you. The central element of the holding in infancy was physical holding and care. But the sense of holding is also global, including the sense of being held emotionally and mentally. Ultimately, it is the sense that your soul is being held.
Allowing ourselves to experience the hole of holding is a crucial step in reclaiming contact with the holding dimension of Being—Living Daylight. Your sense of basic trust is also increased each time you experience the environment responding to you in a supportive way and each time you experience yourself being held in one way or another. In the process of spiritual work, each time you move beyond your usual sense of reality and of who you are—each time you jump into the abyss with its sense of disintegration or fragmentation and accompanying fear—and you experience Being coming through, giving you a sense of support, a sense of relief, of satisfaction, of meaning, your basic trust is strengthened. The more experiences you have that involve dealing with painful states and memories, and resolving them, allowing you to connect with various aspects of your fundamental nature, the more that sense of trust is created. The more your soul is held and the more basic trust is developed, the more you will unfold. Providing this holding for who you really are is one of the functions of spiritual teaching and a teacher. So, the whole of the Work ultimately builds basic trust.
—adapted from Facets of Unity, by A.H. Almaas