How did you find the Diamond Approach?
In 1987 one of my body-psychotherapy colleagues gave me “the Void” to read, saying this is the right book for me. I was fascinated. For many years I had hit a wall, trying to integrate my knowledge of psychological academics and my experiences from Buddhism and the humanistic psychotherapies. Hameed’s book not only made sense but was mirroring me important experiences of space and emptiness, I could now understand. I got in touch with the School in Berkeley wanting to come over from Germany for a few months and study the Diamond Approach, but was told nothing is possible under a year or 2. So I waited till the first Diamond Approach group started in Europe (EU1) in 1991 and have been part of it since then.
When you first started, what was your greatest challenge?
The first years I was just enthusiastic. With every retreat I discovered a new facet of my being. Also though a deep sense of insecurity and anxiety slowly started to emerge. It culminated in the point work. For a couple weeks I felt so insecure, I didn’t even know how to say “hi”. I really experienced myself as an empty shell. Before that I seem to have managed to keep emptiness and my identity separate in my mind. There was just a shell, with black nothing inside. I just felt deflated and fake. I was deeply grateful to my teacher, who helped me to keep the curiosity for the inquiry going. When the anxiety subsided, I could experience “I don’t have essence, I am essence”.
What has kept you engaged with the Diamond Approach teachings?
It seemed to me that Hameed has really given me a map for “my inner journey home”. Basically in and after every retreat I had a sense of landing more in presence, my sense of self became more transparent, I felt more connected with myself, others and the world in general. It really felt like coming home more and more. A deep wish of overcoming alienation, which was my sense of being in the world from childhood days, slowly became fulfilled. The phrase “to be in the world but not of it” has become more and more a felt sense. Now being present is no longer dependent on going to a retreat.
What aspect of the teaching is most alive in you right now?
Maybe the most important thread of the teaching for me has been about personal essence. Since studying psychology and becoming a psychotherapist I have been grappling with the question what does being in relationship and being personal mean. The more the Pearl is being integrated in my understanding, in my heart’s desire for true contact and my capacity for action, that childhood sense of alienation has vanished, a sense of wonder and belonging have appeared instead. Personalness, openness and a felt sense of connection to the ground of being can all be there at the same time, being a heart-felt unique point of existence and the ocean of being at the same time.
What has been the most surprising discovery for you in the past year?
I have been a student of the Diamond Approach since 1991. Many experiences come and go, understanding stays. My soul usually matures by slowly integrating experience and understanding. Then in unusual moments my experience opens up to whole new dimensions of being. Going through the point work, I mentioned earlier, was one. This year I had the pleasure of teaching the Stupa with my own teacher Jessica. I have understood the wisdom of the vehicle for a while. Listening to her in a fresh and new way I actually had a kinesthetic sense of the Stupa Vehicle descending, leaving me feeling connected to the interiority of my heart and determination in my belly, being a boundless expression of love in the world. These are moments where old identifications actually dissolve.
What advice/encouragement would you offer to someone ‘on the fence’ about attending an Intro event?
Ask yourself “what is moving you”. Become aware of your motives. Would a “no” come from just having no interest, as the topic is of no interest to you, it just doesn’t touch you, or is there for instance a fear there? Or do you feel cut off basically from everything. This may open a deeper understanding of how you engage and motivate you to find out what actually would move you.
If you could have one wish for humankind, what would it be?
For each person to find their own depth, their own being, so true interaction and true community can become possible.
Gary Kaufhold has been working in private practice as a body-oriented psychotherapist and as a psychoanalyst for 35 years and as a Diamond Approach teacher since 2011. Currently he is a presenting teacher in Ireland (DAIRE) and in Germany (German speaking weekend groups in Munich and Hamburg DAWID) he also assists in the first German speaking group RAD1. DAWID-Hamburg is still open for new students. Learn more about the Gary's upcoming November 8 - 10, 2019 weekend event Hamburg November Wochenende.